Anyone Who’s Offended by Anyone on Red Eye is Too Stupid to Watch Star Wars

Knock it off, nerds.

More than a month ago, I made some jokes about Star Wars on Red Eye, a satirical political comedy show that airs at 3 a.m., and it has resulted in me being verbally abused and told to die by a mob of enraged fans for the past four days now.  The capital-offense comments were: “I have never had any interest in watching space nerds poke each other with their little space nerd sticks, and I’m not going to start now.

I don’t need to prove my Star Wars fan status, just hit the tag attached to this post. And if I did need to prove my status, then I wouldn’t because that’s deeply lame. But as a fan, the line about space nerd sticks is funny. It just is.

Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

So maybe instead of posting a ten-minute video about how ANGRY you are  that someone on Red Eye made a joke about your fandom, maybe just laugh it off and go back to making excited speculations about why Luke isn’t in the trailer.

Is this what being a Star Wars fan means? That we have to pretend that Star Wars is the most important thing that ever happened? That we have to send people death threats? Death Threats? Really? (Yeah, I know Beardy the Wonderfan offers the obligatory denunciation of death threats. But we shouldn’t have to denounce death threats made by Star Wars fans)

What do you do when you encounter someone who was born in say, the 1990’s, and never saw the Original Trilogy? Do you strap them down, peel back their eyeballs and give them a Ludovico viewing? BECAUSE STAR WARS IS A POP CULTURE INSTITUTION AND ALL MUST KNOW IT AND ALL MUST LIKE IT AND I FIND YOUR LACK OF FAITH DISTURBING.

The whole point of Red Eye is to engage in forbidden, non-PC humor (that’s why it’s on Fox). Nothing they say on that show should ever be taken at all seriously. If you can’t understand that, you’re too dumb to watch Star Wars, because you probably think that if you concentrate hard enough you can use the Force to make the Thrawn Trilogy better than mediocre (yeah, I said it. Come at me, nerds).

This is the kind of pedantic dweebery I expect from Trekkies. We’re supposed to be cooler than that. Come on.

A matter of canon


Every word of this, basically.

Originally posted on madgeniusclub:

One thing I think nobody in the 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s could have anticipated, was the extent to which the popular science fiction and fantasy products of that era would continue to be dominant well past the turn of the new century. Certainly there was no indication, when the original Star Trek limped through the end of its third season, that the franchise — there was no franchise at that stage — would spawn numerous successful spinoff TV series, over a dozen full-length motion pictures, any number of comic book adaptations, and well over one hundred novels; both original stories, and novelizations of films and TV episodes. Roughly one decade later, Star Wars revolutionized movie-making, and turned science fiction into a common household commodity. Battlestar Galactica — derided by critics as a Star Wars ripoff — earned so much fan loyalty in syndication, that one generation later it was revived…

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Everything Old is Old Again – Chuck Berry Reviews the New Wave

And by “New Wave”, I of course mean music from forty years ago.

Of most interest is what he says in response to The Sex Pistols “God Save the Queen”

What’s this guy so angry about anyway? Guitar work and progression is like mine. Good backbeat. Can’t understand most of the vocals. If you’re going to be mad at least let the people know what you’re mad about.

I like this not for the obvious dissonance regarding Rotten’s vocals, but because he notices what Steve Jones and Paul Cook – the Pistols’ guitarist and drummer, respectively – brought to the mix. Both of them are, IMHO, better than almost all their contemporaries in the UK punk scene. They could actually play. No one noticed because the hysteria focused on Rotten and Vicious.

But the most revealing is his response to The Romantics’ “What I like About You”

Finally something you can dance to.

The notion that Rock becomes chamber music, to be enjoined above the neck only, with each “new” iteration is the thesis of one of the best music books I’ve ever read, How the Beatles Destroyed Rock n’ Roll. If you haven’t partaken, do yourself a favor.

Sarah Hoyt Reminds us Why “ChiCom” is a Lovely Slur We Should be Using More Of…

I really didn’t think the Drama(!) of this year’s Hugos could get any thicker. I thought they’d have their awards, and some Puppies would win, and some Puppies would lose, and everyone would claim victory, and I’d go right back to not caring about the Hugos.

Dear Sweet Lord, was I wrong. The Hugos have gone full lightning-rod.

An amid the fallout of everything, some maleducated nitwit decided to have a go at Sarah Hoyt for the use of the word “ChiCom”. Which is a Cold War abbreviation of Chinese Communists, one that has fallen into unuse since Nixon went to China and the Cold War ended.

It is of course great fun to point out the massive idiocy that assumes “ChiCom” must be racist because it refers to Chinese people. There’s enough layers of historical and linguistic ignorance to make a tiramisu. But far better than that is the useful reminder of how irretrievably wicked the Maoist regime was (is?). Which you will find if you click the link. Orwell’s worst fantasy’s had their expression during Mao’s Cultural Revolution, and Hitler’s Holocaust was exceeded nearly by an order of magnitude. But we ignore all of this for the same reason we ignored Stalin during the Second World War – it was useful to do so.

So I’m planning on throwing “ChiCom” around a lot. For the lulz, as it were.


B.B. King, Zero 7 and Jupiter One: Music Links for the Weekend.

A Study has confirmed what we already know to be true: We stop caring about popular music sometime in our thirties. Men drop out faster than women do, apparently.
Which means the last band I got into will probably be the Black Keys. I’m okay with that.

B.B. King, RIP. His first recording was in 1949:

Looks like I’ll be listening to Live at the Regal sometime this weekend.

They let you make any old stuff on the YooToobz. I was farting around with Google+ yesterday, because Facebook is getting increasingly on my nerves. That led to farting around on my YouTube channel, and in the space of about an hour, I made two videos. The first was done with my laptop’s MovieMaker, using any old images I happened to have on hand, with a Zero 7 tune from my iTunes as audio:

The second I made entirely on YouTube, using b-roll footage and music that was under their Creative Commons License. I slapped some filters on it, timed the transitions to shifts in the music, and Voila:

The band is called Jupiter One. It has a nice feel to it. I don’t know why it’s called “Riot”, but it is. Enjoy.